i feel trapped in my own body. i’m walking down the street and I want to jump and scream and flail my arms around, how can the rest of humanity walk around mindlessly looking down. i don’t want to feel alone anymore. i don’t have to but i just do it’s like this feeling i can’t get off it’s inside of me already, it’s grown into me. i described it as the absence of air. what would the world look like without air, oxygen, carbon dioxide? the things needed to grow life. dull things would grow, the worlds attempt at adapting. i feel that’s what happened with me, i just kept floursihing despite this absence and now through meditation i feel this yearning for more for something to truly resonate with me and prove to me all of the things i already know to be true. i don’t know how long i’ll continue to search for this. something tells me i’m on the brink of something, that now that i realize this, i am closer to the root. to the root of my suffering.