we were laying in my bed with the faint scent of rum in the air when it happened. at first, it was fun.. like a game. but as the rum started to wear off it become less like a game and started to feel more like reality. we let ourselves feel. we laughed and we touched and we kissed and we talked and it felt like a dream. hours passed and neither of us noticed, it was like we were in our own world where no one else existed and no one could touch us.. it was just me and him. we layed side by and side and just stared at each other and when he held me in his arms and kissed every inch of my face, I felt it.. and I knew that I would never be able to unfeel it. and every day after, it’s all I think about; that feeling of being cared for. of knowing that someone reciprocated how you felt but was just as scared as you to feel it.
But as the door to my room opened, our world came crashing down and as soon as we stepped outside it was different. it was like our world had never existed and we both reverted back to fear.. fear of feeling. but sometimes I still see our world when he looks at me and in those moments that our eyes meet, its like we’re back in my room looking into eachothers eyes and just like that.. he brings me back to him.