waiting 4 ur smile to set me free
could that really be the key?
do i have no say in what happens to me?
or is this freedom and will
where the strongest always make the kill
i have these thoughts in my head
that seem so real
they confuse me
sometimes i forget who is speaking
how many people are here?
hello, can anybody hear me?
the answer i fear
it’s cramped up in here
i need to get out
set my mind free
and figure all this out. this life is just confusing, it’s actually quite amusing. have you ever felt this free? my thoughts are oozing, out of my mind. but lately i don’t seem to mind. i’m confident see, strong and vulnerable. something about lately has me so emotional. i feel so many things yet i feel nothing? it doesn’t make sense. i feel numb but i know that there is life out there. i feel trapped yet i know how many traps there are within the universe. how many worlds exist on earth. the seemingly endless quantities of people, experiences and moments. every person you pass by is an entire WORLD. they have someone they love, they have an eternal web of connections. and we didn’t even know they existed until we made awkward eye contact at the red light.
i always wonder how many pictures i’m in the back of. how many people have looked at m(e)(y tits) while listening to a dazzling story about “the time we first met” or indirectly living in a beautiful moment of reminiscence. that counts, you know. that counts towards the amazing web of intergalactic connected-ness. you are in that moment, especially if they’re pointing you out. because they’re discussing you. yet you have no idea. and you will never know. we will never know anything. so why do we stress knowing shit so much? why do we need to cite at least 5 sources? is my source not enough? that makes me think that i indirectly learned that i couldn’t be trusted. even in daily life i feel like i gotta add someone’s name to my story for it to be valid. “who was there with you?” “any witnesses?” “and we now pronounce you mr. and miss. trapped”.
i’m learning to author my life. to illustrate my life. to experience my life. to allow myself to flow and live instead of being inside my head and trying to think and calculate every instance of every MF SECONDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. bc why bro. life is better when we flow. i don’t know shit but i can confidently say i do know that. …… or do i