letting go

i have to let go. i have to step into the unknown. I close my eyes and I can picture it. the unknown. it is vast and dark. i picture a flat plain leading out into infinity. i do not know where it starts or where it ends. all i know is that it is there and i can feel it and it consumes me when i truly picture it. the way i have been living my life is no longer the way i want to live. i must take this step this risk and venture into the uncharted seas of me and of we. i must let go and trust in myself, and all of the things i do not know. in these desolate undiscovered places of my being that are mirrored in this reality. i have to push myself and motivate myself and be there and true. this is the hardest thing i’ve ever done. sometimes i feel like i won’t make it. most times i know how powerful i am, and i trust in the development. i have to embarrass myself, put myself in uncomfortable situations, face rejection and my deepest darkest fears. this is the way to freedom. to fearlessness. to unmask all of your fears and reveal the fickle nature of their non-existence. mere projections created by our minds. like a mirage in the desert, they do not exist. i fear no thing no man for even when the wicked come to devour my flesh they shall stumble and fall before the truth. i fear no feeling or projection of the mind for they exist inside of me, not i inside of them, i have control, i have choice. i feel a longing for the me i was when i was in love. but i was thinking, if i fall in love with the world, can i trigger the same feelings? the thing missing from my life is people, relationships. my whole life is a compilation of moments of solitude and i’m so fucking bored. i love solitude but lately it has been less solitude and more lonliness. i need to let go. so i can continue to grow into myself because i don’t fit in this small ass place anymore i need to be able to frolick freely and stretch and be. i need to know more about myself. and the closer i come to myself, the more i become, the closer i get to you. what i seek is seeking me.*lights dim* *head bows* *SPOTLIGHT* *head raises* *looks off into distance and begins* we who desire a love to drown and devour the depths of our soul in such a way that revitalizes and transforms will not be kept from eachother. *pounds heart with fist* *dies* END SCENE*

i am ready to love and (finally) ready to be loved in return

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