i am my own bestsfriend. i tell myself everything. saying that sounds so strange but it further explains the relationship i have with myself. even when i’m simply discovering things about myself i do it with words. through talking to myself out loud, i talk through some of my deepest fears some of the most existential questions in my life and of the world. until i figure out what i agree with believe in want to exude etc. etc. this makes me feel so connected to myself because i am giving myself the choice. i’m asking myself what i like? what i want? and i’m fairly new to this, as a consequence of never being asked what i like, never having to figure it out truly and deeply, not just at the surface. not just at what is on a person or societal level but what i truly like and desire inside of my soul. the things that my spirit craves. the things that influence what i crave out loud. i am getting to know myself in an intimate and excruciating way. i’m pushing myself towards my bigges fears and consequently towards my wildest dreams. i know that changing things on the outside does not in anyway reap anything as fulfilling as the benefits that come from changing things on the inside. before one acquires knowledge of much else one must first acquire knowledge of self.

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