I needed you to hold me, to make the pain go away. I needed you to hold me, to make the lies seem more true. and every time you held me- it worked. Everything bad went away and it was just you and I, my face on you chest, your face lost in my hair. You ran your fingers up and down my spine and in the silence, I learned so much about us.
Sometimes though, sometimes, the silence reminded me of things I didn’t want to know. “that didn’t make sense” “i saw her name again” “i swear it was a hickey” and I would lean in closer to your neck and you would tighten your arms around me. The tighter they got, the more the lies came rushing into my head. Your arms held me together when I was falling apart
but the tighter your grip
the more I crumbled